Cell Block Tango
by QuilAtearaWolf
Summary: This is a Cell Block Parody. After the wolves push their women to far and they snap. It gets pretty funny. Come on in find out what happens to them!


___Note: Please notice this is all on Cullen Coven. The website address is . please check it out if you like what I have written or if you like to role play. Come on in everyone is welcome. I hope to see you there._

_This is my version of the cell block tango. If you've never heard of it I will leave a link somewhere for you to hear it. .com/watch?v=avQxBAuPPT0 this is NOT MY VIDEO! But rate and comment and fav the video if you like it! I also want you to know that this is all for humor and for a laugh. I also realize most the people in this are wolves. Well for this story lets all go in our little minds and pretend these fictional shape shifting wolves are now human and so is all the other mythical creators. Now lets go in the depths of my funny little story._

**The Cell Block Tango – Wolf Pack Version**

_Charlie shut the door to the crowded jail cell. In the cell were the 7 murders of the local Indian reservation. All girls. All for killing their lovers/boyfriends/husbands for various reasons._

_"Try not to kill each other," Charlie almost laughed walking away. _

_"So all you girls murdered your boys, too," Leah said._

_"Yeah, how did you do it?" Emily asked._

_"Well you know how some boys just have their habits?" Leah asked._

_"Yeah," Emily said._

_"Well my husband Embry had this habit of chewing, not chewing POPING. Well I came home from patrol one day, irritated. Jake had picked on me the whole time. I was looking for a little sympathy. Well I get home and there is Embry laying on the couch watching some TV and chewing, not chewing POPING. I told him. YOU POP THAT GUM ONE MORE TIME," she said then sighed. "And he did. I pulled the shot gun off the wall and fired two warning shots right into his head."_

_All the girls looked at one another. Then the beautiful girl Claire stood up._

_"My husband, Quil, and I have been married for 2 years now. It was a normal day as always. Well this night Quil came home from patrol. He came to the kitchen where I was making dinner and started yelling, 'You've been screwing Embry.' I was shocked. I told him he was crazy. He yelled again, 'You've been screwing Embry.'," she looked around. "Then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times."_

_Claire held up ten fingers to exaggerate her point. She sat down after she was done. Then Emily stood up._

_"I've been married for 5 years. I was married to Sam. He was a great guy. He was very loving, caring, passionate. My only problem was he always went out with the guys. I told him countless times that day that if he did it today he was going to pay. And as all these guys, he did. When he came home that night I beat him with an aluminum baseball bat," the sweet looking Emily said shaking her head._

_Then Rachel stood up._

_"Its my turn. I was not married though I was in a very committed, long relationship. Paul came over my dad's house and we'd watch movies and hang out. But here lately he'd been playing a game. He hardly ever spent real quality time with me anymore. I got tired of it. You can guess what happened. I warned him and warned him. Eventually all the bull he put me through pushed me to the limit. I took the cord to the controller and wrapped it around his neck chocking him to death," she said with clinched fist._

_Rachel sat down without a tear in her eye. Then in the back of the room where a small much younger girl sat came a voice._

_"I was also in a deep relationship with a boy. His name was Jacob Black. He'd often come home, eat, and head out to the garage. It drove me nuts how much time he spent out there. I was suppose to be his princess. He was suppose to love me more than his car. Well I finally had enough of it. One day he came home from patrol and sat down to eat," the girl looked around then said with enough venom in her voice to kill everyone in the room. "You know some guys just can't hold their arsenic."_

_"I grew up around this place," Kim said looking around. "My senior year of high school I started dating Jared. We'd been dating for a really long time, for a few years or so. Now Jared was special. I knew him pretty well but he didn't seem to know himself at all. So he'd go out looking for himself, along the way he found Mary, Ruth, Sarah, and Samantha. Lets just say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive, and I SAW HIM AS DEAD," Kim said closing her eyes._

_The only girl who hadn't talked stood up. She was the one the only Destiney. She frowned and looked around at all the other girls._

_"I met Seth Clearwater when I was only a freshman in high school. He was a nice guy. He was the type to get along with anyone," she sighed taking a deep breath. "Well when we started the new year. We were both sophomores. We had plenty of classes together. Well the next thing I know some girl is flirting with him. They start texting and hanging out. Well one day I had enough. I didn't realize what I had done until I was in the bathroom washing the blood off my hands."_

_"You know what we did. It was a murder but not a crime," Leah said standing up tall and proud. The girls all agreed standing up as well._

_"You know he shouldn't have assumed I was screwing Embry," Claire said._

I sat straight up in my bed. I had sweat dripping down my face and my hands were balled in fist. My shirt clung to me like I it was an extra layer of skin. My breath was quick as I tried to calm down. It was all just a dream I kept telling myself. It was only a dream. Then I made the mental note 'DO NOT TELL CLAIRE SHE'S BEEN SCREWING EMBRY!!!'

_Quil Ateara_


End file.
